Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
(I wrote this article the other day…most of it in “real time” as I processed my feelings with the Lord and His Word).
I just hit my wall. Frustration is rising. Looking up these scriptures has given me a vent—much like the vent on a pressure cooker or instant pot. But my feelings are still rolling. Nothing big, just a cancellation of an expected appointment. Why does this feel so bad? I feel like am expendable. Move me around like an insignificant item. Because frustration makes us focus just on ourselves. It is “all about me”…but can’t it ever be about ME, a little voice speaks in my head? Do I always have to let others have their way first? When that voice speaks, the pressure rises again. Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of the inability to change or achieve something.
As I step back, I sense God taking a deep breath. He says,” Daughter, you don’t know the reason they had to shift things.” You are assuming they are taking you for granted that you will always work on their schedule. They may face a tough choice. And they are trusting you to understand, in love. Do you care about the person? Of course. When I think about these things, the pressure lets up and peace settles. I am loved by the Father. His love is immense and overwhelming. Why would I let myself feel so belittled by an appointment change? Silly, isn’t it? But our emotions are like that. They are strong and they are intense, if we let them. I recognize I have the choice…to build on my frustration or let it go. Building on it will not change the situation, only cause me more anguish. Letting it go makes much more sense.
I Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Wow, all those always. Once again, God’s Word shows me the better way. It points out my weaknesses and helps me to grow in His ways. Love is patient. Hmmm… frustration isn’t very patient, neither is it kind. It is not self-seeking. When it becomes about me, I need to take a pause and try to look at things from the other person’s point of view. It is not easily angered. Did the incident show how quickly my anger meter could rise? Yes. Oh, it keeps no record of wrongs. This means I can’t start a list. It’s difficult, isn’t it? When it’s not the first time I or you get shifted, it’s hard not to go there. Love rejoices with the truth—since I don’t know the reason behind the shift, I have to trust that there was a good reason for the person.
Love always protects. Doesn’t that include someone’s reputation? Always trusts? When I shift my focus from me to others and then on to the Lord, I can relax and trust He understands. Romans 8:28 becomes my go to verse, that He will work everything out for my good, as I am called to His purpose. Then comes that word “perseveres”. Am I willing to stay the course, not only for the reason I wanted the appointment, but also to value the relationship and keep it intact?
I began writing this blog almost one week ago. My frustration level was high and I felt hurt. But as I let the Word of God begin to re-center me, I felt so foolish. I know I am not the only one with these kind of feelings. I am so grateful that in the situation all I could do was turn to the Lord and let Him defuse my steam. The meeting will happen, God will direct my path as I trust Him.
I want to encourage us all to take the time to go to the Lord to let off your steam. Loving people, really loving them, isn’t easy. But in the long run, so worth it. Take the time, my friends, to go to Him and the Word to get your perspectives aligned. The next day, I received a call from my dental office reminding me of an appointment I thought was the following Wednesday. Instead, it was on Monday and I had double booked. So I had to re-schedule. They were very kind and understanding, as I should have been! Life is too important to waste it on frustration. It is ok to own the feelings and admit they are there, but don’t let them spoil your hour, your week or your month!
I recognize the moving of an appointment is a small thing. But my emotions were definitely BIG! Many sources of our frustration have a much bigger impact on our lives. Please don’t just “live” with it. Find out the source of your frustration. Examine your feelings. As you can see, I had to be honest about how the change made me feel. Those were my initial feelings, none of them based on the truth of the situation. By the time I finished looking at 1 Corinthians 13, my “feelings” had changed. Peace was restored and I could see more clearly. Frustration often leads to anger and anger, when not dealt with properly can wreck havoc in our lives. It just isn’t worth it. Frustration that leads to anger that leads to bringing healthy change is a good thing.
Father, I thank you for teaching us through Your Word. I thank You I can find direction, hope and peace as I simply walk in Your Truth. It really does set us free. Help us draw near to you in our frustration and show us Your way to handle it, because I know you always have the best way. Oh Father, You always want to help us live an inner peaceful life, no matter what our circumstances are. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Faith Encounters 