Last week I shared how the Lord responded to my question: what is my word for 2018?  He said, what if I said the word was “weak”?  Isaiah 55:8 reminds us that our thoughts are not His thoughts.  How He views life here on earth is so much different from how we view things. Thinking through the faith + weak = strong equation can only be done through His grace and His eyes.

Dependency is the key.  Dependency is the state of relying or needing someone or something for aid, support or the like says Dictionary.com.  Most of us work hard not to need to rely on anyone else.  Paul cried out to Lord at least three times for his thorn to be removed–that thing that he had to accept that made him dependent on the Lord.  One of the areas that Paul says he took pleasure in the insults that came his way ( 2 Corinthians 12:10).

After my husband Darryl suffered his debilitating stroke, I would have to take him to the grocery store.  The number of times people stared, commented on how slow we were moving or seemingly made their life a few seconds more inconvenient surprised me.  It should have been obvious to everyone (at least to me) that we were doing our best, but apparently it was not good enough.  Darryl was dependent upon me to help him navigate the aisles, push the cart and monitor his strength level–plus find the things we needed!  I wanted to shout to them, if you only knew where this man came from.  How far God has restored his body, you would be marveling! This man re-learned how to walk and eat! Instead, they looked at the outer shell and ridiculed us with their impatient rolling of their eyes, their quiet under breath comments or even out-and-out “hurry up”.  I spent a lot of time praying and forgiving others.  To be fair, we also encountered some very helpful people who helped us as they could. I can admit it now as I see how the Lord used these times to humble me.  Asking the doctor for a disability placard was difficult, but one day struggling with the shopping cart going one way, and trying to navigate Darryl to the car I had to cry “uncle” and ask for one.  I struggled in accepting my once strong, active husband was now considered disabled.  Humility doesn’t come easy sometimes.  Darryl’s disability at this time was quite visible, easy to see.  But what about weaknesses that we keep hidden?  Lack of knowledge, insecurities, physical struggles–areas we may try to cover up with bragging, self-confidence rather than God confidence?  It is freeing to say, “I don’t know.”  “I need help in that area”.  “I’m really not good at that”.  To overcome those weaknesses, we may need to study, ask for help, practice till we get it–there are many different ways to strengthen our weaknesses, but we must admit they are there first.

Our culture does not celebrate weakness.  We try to hide it.  We disguise it, we pretend it does not exist.  Paul says we are weak first, then we become strong as we learn to depend and rely on God’s strength.  Care-giving reduces you to weakness.  Yesterday on the radio, Family Talk by James Dobson interviewed Joni Earikson Tada and her husband Ken. (She was left a quadriplegic at 17 from a diving accident).  They related a time when Ken admitted he felt trapped and unable to do the care-giving she needed.  The first time he broached the subject, she responded, “how do you think I feel?”  The second time several months later, she said “it is OK.  We will figure this out.”  They did.  They drew closer together as a couple.  Admitting his inability helped them find solutions for their problem.Ken had promised to take care of her as her husband, how difficult to admit he could not keep it up.  I am sure his pride was dealt a big blow at this time.

When our pride keeps us from admitting there is a problem, we are trapped by it. The Lord and I are taking some time to look at my weaknesses. At first I was uncomfortable in the process.  However, it has been freeing!  He already knows them anyway.  It is much easier to ask for His help in these areas first, rather than later.  How about you?  Have you asked the Lord to show you your weaknesses?

Courage up my friend.  Ask Him.  He is a gracious teacher and helper.  We have not many times, because we ask not.

A few weeks ago I was watching a cooking show with multiple chefs bantering about life as they were preparing some holiday dishes.  One of them asked, “what is your word for the new year?”  I think enjoy is my word, I am going to try to enjoy my life more this year.”  For many years in the Christian world, people would come up with a word as well, “what is God saying to you about this year? Slogans would abound.  There is more in 2004!  Culture shifted and single words like Gratitude or Kindness reigned.

A few days later, I decided to ask the Lord if He had a word for me to think about this year–expecting to hear some inspiring faith thoughts or power words like Righteousness or Joy,  I admit I was almost shocked to hear Him quickly say “what if I said the word, weak”?  Weak?  What do you mean weak?  Immediately the words of 2 Corinthians 12:9, And He said to me, My grace is  sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. NKJV

So my journey to explore weakness begins.  Paul had some kind of debatable “thorn in the flesh” as he called it.  Some think it was bad eyesight, some think it was his past remembering of his persecutions of believers, or even depression!  We don’t know.  But it was enough for him to implore  the Lord three times that it would be removed.  He called it a weakness. So instead of trying to figure out Paul’s problem, I knew the Lord wanted me to focus on mine.  Weakness is revealed by circumstances and situations beyond our control.  There is something about our nature that struggles with  feeling out of control.

I realized my weaknesses are not something I choose to think about–Satan’s taunts remind me enough at times where I fall short.  But as I explored more, I realized how ignorant I was about these verses.  Part of me, if  I am honest, figured I have not been taken up to the third heaven or done any of the other things Paul had done to need to be humbled, I needed to just focus on being strong!  One of the things we do know is Paul is not excusing sin here.  Conviction, confession and repentance or turning away from sin is how sin is dealt with. Recognizing areas where we are weak is another matter. It takes courage to consider our weaknesses.

Verse 10 lists some things where Paul had to deal with his weaknesses.  That is why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.  Each of these areas were out of his control.  Isn’t that where we feel our weakest?  When we are not able to use our own abilities to effect our situations?  We cannot control what others think about us (insults).  We cannot control the hardships of life (death, difficult diagnosis, climate issues).  We have limited ability to control persecutions related to our faith in our family, our job or life encounters.  The troubles Paul lists in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 humble me in my own complaints: shipwrecked, jailed, imprisoned, hungry and cold are just a few of the things listed in this passage.  One of them would have been enough for me, but he endured them all for the gospel’s sake.

Weakness is revealed: when our difficulties drive us to Jesus.  When things overwhelm us beyond what we think we can bear–that is where we discover our weaknesses.  That is where the Lord desires to show up and become our strength.  Death of a loved one is one of those areas that cannot be changed.  Once it has happened.  It is over.  Grief reveals so many areas of need.  As I sought relief after my husbands passing, my dependency on Him grew.  I had never walked as a widow, so all of it was new.  Still is in many ways, but it drove me to Him.  I honestly can say the effect of this weakness and my dependency on Jesus is wonderful, but I still don’t know I can say I take pleasure in them!

Weakness appears in faith dilemmas where you believe God’s Word, that He is our healer, and  you watch a loved one suffer can either drive us to Him, or away in bitterness.  The struggle is real.  The feeling of weakness and inability to help is indescribable.  But still you press in and forward.  Your weakness gaining strength from Him as you trust His intervening hand and purpose.

Our weakness reveals our dependency.  Our prideful nature rebels from showing vulnerability.  For some reason, God does not seem to care about hurting our pride.  Through trusting a situation years ago, Darryl and I had a car re-possessed.  Someone else had promised to make the payments for us, and by the time the bank called for it to be handed  over, it was too late for us to do anything about it.  Humbling to be sure.  Lessons of forgiveness, stewardship, compassion resulted.  God was gracious and we were given a VW van shortly afterward.  The next time we purchased a vehicle we prayed and prayed trusting God for favor, mercy and grace.  We did not have any trouble of that sort anytime since.

Many people I know have gone through many battles in 2017.  Maybe you find yourself entering 2018 feeling weak.  Do not condemn yourself, do not give up, but acknowledge your weakness.  In it you will find your dependency on the One who never grows weary or is weak.  He will show up.  He will show you how to walk weak, and therefore be strong.  If you ended 2018 feeling Strong in Him, encourage your brothers and sisters.  Help strengthen them.  We need each other.

January 4, 2017 I shared that the Holy Spirit spoke to me that this year was to be a year of faith not fear.  Going back through that blog and reflecting on the experiences God brought me through, I can see where I have grown through this experience. Looking through life’s obstacles, challenges and celebrations with the eye of faith, changes everything.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1.  It was my go to word for 2017–what would faith look like in approaching financial challenges, how would faith approach a loved ones cancer diagnosis?  How would I get my leaking bathroom fixed on a limited budget?  I faced all those things and more this year.  You probably did so too.  Good things happen to all of us, so do “bad” things.  It is all about perspective.  Faith in God’s sovereignty, His character as well as His loving desire to intervene in our lives takes the”bad” things and as we begin to pray and stand tall against them, fear subsides and hope grows and God’s grace and direction begin to turn the bad into good.

Those of you who are following this blog through Word Press could access the early blogs on this subject on Impart Ministries website at impart.org.  Making the change to Word Press was a faith step that was a good thing!

I wrote a list last year of areas in our lives where we would be challenged to choose faith or fear.

Faith for change for yourself or others

Faith to embrace new or uncomfortable circumstances

Faith to embrace the quiet or silent period of waiting for answers to prayers

Faith to embrace God’s No’s to our prayers

Faith to embrace unexpected or surprising health issues, job issues, parenting or marriage issues

Faith to embrace God enlarged dreams that seem impossible

Faith to be the first to do something that will bring change to others

Faith to be the change

Faith to let go of old ways, old habits even when they are good–to receive better ones

Faith to love difficult people with God’s love

Faith to live honestly and compassionately with others

Faith to live with courage to follow the Lord

Faith to confront the areas where sin and the flesh have a hold in our lives

I know this is quite a list.  I am sure there are even more that we need to think about.  However, as I reviewed this list, I am grateful for the growth I can see in my own life in these areas.  I pray that as you contemplate 2018 you will determine to enter in with determination to grow in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Faith comes by hearing, so it begins by choosing to read, study and meditate on God’s Word this year.  It is our dependable, strength-giving, perspective shifting living book of comfort, hope and direction.  Don’t neglect it!

Merry Christmas!  Tis the season to exchange greeting cards, wish clerks, acquaintances and practically all we meet with that cheerful greeting.  For the first time that I can remember I began to wonder, “why  Merry Christmas?”  How did that come to be the phrase that symbolizes the celebration of this amazing season of remembering the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Of course, I googled it.  One of the websites states that the first recorded use of merry Christmas was written in 1534 in a letter from John Fisher to Thomas Cromwell in England.  The word Merry originally meant pleasant, peaceful and agreeable.  Somehow it has morphed through the years to have a more of a jovial meaning.

For all you history buffs, the phrase was used in the first commercial printed Christmas card as well as popularized in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol published in the same year (1843).  Someone else, also questioning the phrase, considered the fact that happy is an emotional condition whereas  merry is a behavior.  Happy (which we use with all other holidays–Happy Easter, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays–developed from the word hap which had a connotation of luck to it.  To be happy can depend on our situation, our circumstances or even our mood.

So what are we communicating when we wish someone a merry Christmas?  I imagine it is like other things, we can use the phrase just as a filler, or a nice gesture or it can communicate a thoughtful message.  The dictionary definition of merry is cheerful and lively.  As I meander through these thoughts I realize I do wish my friends, family and readers a very merry Christmas. A Christmas celebration that is alive with the understanding of who we are celebrating!  We are celebrating the birth of our Savior who came not only over 2000 years ago but came into my life to bring His joy and salvation to me.  I do more than wish this, I pray it. I pray that as you celebrate this season, no matter how you do it, you will take the time to reflect on the fact that you have a Savior.  He is there to rescue us from our sin, to show us the way to go when we do not know the way, to bring his unfathomable peace when there seems no way to it.  God loved us soo much that He sent his only begotten son into our world to save us from our sins, and that is the good news we are trying to communicate when we say Merry Christmas.  I need this Savior everyday, and by God’s grace and mercy I have one–and you can too.  Just call on His name.  He is there, ask him to forgive you for your sins (wrong doing) and to make you His child and He will.  It takes faith (the ability to trust Him) to make this step, but it is so worth it.

I wish you all a very very Merry Christmas, one filled with His Joy, Grace and the lively awareness of His presence in your life.  He is there, look for Him. Merry Christmas

As 2017 is drawing to a close, for me it is a time of reflection.  Some years bring about more intense change than others.  My world totally shifted in 2010 when my beloved husband, suffered a major stroke.  So many shifts took place in an instant.  I went from wife–supporting my husband and partnering in our ministry together to caregiver, and in all ways practical, the head of our home.  As I sought stability and God’s perspective, I kept hearing accept this new normal in your life.  Then in 2012, my world shifted again as I went from wife to widow.  Another new normal to accept.

For many of my friends and acquaintances 2017 brought the same unexpected shifts.  Not all are considered “bad”..in fact many are welcomed.  A wedding, new baby, job promotion, or planned retirement all have many wonderful blessings embedded in them.  These are the more or less “planned” new normals.  They are opportunities that most people celebrate.

Unfortunately, for others  had their “new normal” thrust upon them, without their permission.  Those killed and injured in Las Vegas or in Sutherland Springs, Texas had their world invaded by pain and loss and must deal with their “new normal”.  Unexpected life altering diagnosis, infidelity discoveries, miscarriage or even unplanned pregnancy’s all impact  normal life.  As I struggled to accept my new normal first as a caregiver then as a widow (and believe me, it was a fierce struggle at times), I learned many lessons.

The event takes place, many times in a moment, but the processing of it in our soul and spirit takes much longer.  God began to talk to me about writing on this subject last week.  Saturday I learned about a young woman in our church who is facing her shocking new normal as her husband and the father of their young son passed away unexpectedly.  Another friend stopped by this week to share with me how the experimental chemo treatments that saved her husband’s life has altered his thinking processes and he is, currently, no longer able to work, much less be left alone.  One went from wife to widow, the other from wife to caregiver; they both must face their new normal.  How do we face such things?  How do we walk with those who are facing these changes?

It takes faith.  Both these women have a strong faith in Jesus, but they are also human and we must give them the opportunity to be real in their process.  I knew God was good.  I knew He was trustworthy, but I felt myself backing away from Him at times because I was not sure what else might come my way.  The amazing grace and mercy about having a relationship with Jesus is that He can handle it.  He can handle our questions and pain.  There is no perfect way to walk through grief and mourning.  The best gift you can give someone is to be there for them, and not expect them to have to do it in a “certain faith way”.  Remind them of God’s love, grace and mercy and maybe even agreeing that it is awful, hard and you are sorry they have to go through this, but you are there to walk it out.  Don’t expect them to always have the faith to walk it out–let them use yours.  Not with platitudes, but with the knowledge that you are praying with them, for them and knowing God has His plan to help them through whatever they are facing.

Accepting the new normal takes much time.  Somewhere along the process I had to bury my old normal.  I realized it was dead, and gone and the sooner I mourned  it and buried it the easier it was to adjust to my new normal.  I still, at times, long for my old married life.  Comparing my old normal to the new was life comparing apples to Brussels sprouts.  At the time of course the old (apples) would always win.  Partly because I looked at my old normal through perfection glasses.  I forgot about the bruises and sour parts and only remembered the sweet things.  The Holy Spirit reminded me about this one day…it was humbling.  I’m actually learning to enjoy Brussels sprouts!  The comparison game is a natural part of the transition process. People would say, what great memories you have, how wonderful.  I would think, yes, and I want more!  They are a comfort–but they are also a double edge sword.  It is much easier now to enjoy the memories but the desire for more has not really diminished.

One of the good things (Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them) has worked in and through my situation are these thoughts.  Years ago a friend was widowed and I watched God care for her.  It was her story that helped hold me steady through mine.  It is my prayer that my story, even with its many variations, will help others.

My words to each of you facing “new normal”.  You can do this.  You can trust our God to show up with His peace and comfort.  He will carry you through.  Those of you who are enjoying your normal life–do it! Enjoy the blessings, love your children, take care of your health and trust your Good Good God to equip you, love you and inspire you to help others to embrace and adjust to their new normal.  We need each other. Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.

Fill in the blank…is there always a place for faith in this journey we called life?  I think there is.  Do I always know how to walk in it?  Access it when I think I need it?  That would be a resounding no.  However, I am doing better in trusting Him through the dark tunnels that come our way.

Jesus asked a question in Luke 12:28. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?  My first response, is “duh, I don’t know”.  But then when I did a little deeper into the question with the Word of God, I realize it is because I haven’t taken the time to learn of Him in those little faith areas.  Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.  So  asking have I really heard His word in the areas I struggle to apply my faith.

In the course of my almost 60 years  of walking with Him as my Savior, I have learned a lot.  I need to learn a lot more. Learning to trust that He is my Rock, a dependable foundation for my life took some time.  I used to picture literally a large rock but between me and that solid rock was a layer of mud–squishy, slippery, cold and yucky mud.  I knew I was being held up by that rock, but things did not always feel that way.  Little by little, I felt that mud layer shrinking and my feet touching that rock much sooner than later!  I see that Rock as my stability, my place of peace and trust in Him and His ways no matter what kind of storm I walk through.

The muddy layer still comes from time to time–mostly in new areas of trust.  Relationships, healing, finances, parenting, marriage are all areas that we need to learn to apply, access and experience the outcome of walking in faith.  The only way we learn in these areas is to let the Holy Spirit teach us.  First we read and learn what the Bible has to say, and then begin to apply it.  Sounds easy doesn’t it?  Not always!  However, if we approach it right, we have the opportunity to walk with Him through the learning of the lessons–and grow in our relationship with Him.

Never forget in all the learning that the best learning is learning about Him.  Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking at our local MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers).  The topic I was given was “worry”.  I remember being a young mom and all the opportunities to worry that comes with it.  The word worry comes from an old English word which means to strangle or choke.  I began to picture someone walking around with their windpipe partially strangled (not a pretty picture!).  I thought about how worry robs us of our strength, clouds our thinking and is a waste of time.  But still it happens.  Spiritual energy, emotional energy and even physical energy is lost trying to figure out many times things that are beyond our control.

This years theme for MOPS is Freedom.  Something that worry certainly robs us from.  We can become a slave to fear and its accompanying thoughts.  I took the time to think about how my worry thoughts can sound, and I believe the Holy Spirit showed me they are like the cawing of a crow.  Not very pleasant are they?  CAW, CAW you can’t do that, CAW CAW you are a terrible mom, CAW CAW you are going to get a terrible disease–etc.  What came to my mind is that we need to learn to shoot crow!  We shoot crow by knowing what the Bible says about us, our family and our future.  When we know who we are in Christ those caw cawing tormenting thoughts diminish.  We can silence them with the Word of God.  So many times we put up with what we consider the “small worries”, but they take their toll as well.  They are some of the little foxes that spoil the vine that is spoken about in the Song of Solomon.

The beneficial blessing of shooting the crows in our lives it is allows the Holy Spirit to manifest Himself to us.  This peaceful dove coo coos us with His calm down, I’ve got this.  Or words of encouragement, faith and direction on how to deal with life’s problems.  Just this week my washing machine wouldn’t turn on.  Immediately the Lord showed me when the problem occurred, who to call and within about 1/2 hour it was fixed.  A portion of my fence blew down during our recent wind storm.  I felt the Lord tell me I needed to check for damage and I did look out all the windows, but there is one portion of my fence that I can’t see.  My neighbor called and said, “Did you know your fence is down?”  I knew the reason she cared is that her dog can’t go out and play with my fence down!  I called my son-in-law Tim and within a 1/2 hour he was here with the wisdom to do a quick repair.  I had the nails and boards.  This morning my little kindle keyboard just stopped working in the middle of writing a sentence.  Not the battery, not anything I can see to fix.  But thank you Lord, I have my trusty PC to finish this blog.

These are all small issues in the scheme of life.  Reading through Matthew 6: 25-34.

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

There is plenty to worry about if we give in to it.  How to shoot the crows in your life?  Ask the Lord to show you when you are worrying.  It can become such a habit that we are unaware of its work in our lives.  If you are struggling with a lack of peace, dealing with much fear or turmoil then you need to learn to shoot some crow.  Does your mind take you to the worse case scenario in every situation?  Do you stay there?  Then you need to learn to shoot some crow.

Stop yourself.  Take a deep breath.  Call on the Lord and ask for His help.  Like in any health issues, preventative care is preferable!  Build your home on the solid rock of His foundation and when the storms of life come, you will be able to stand in peace.  It is a learning process.  We can do it.  The reason my fence fell down is it rotted from the bottom.  That part we did not address yesterday, but it is inevitable.  Dig deep in His Word, dig deep with your trust in who our God is and get rid of all the crows that are trying to rob you of your joy, grace and peace.  Jesus paid the price for those things!

 

 

 

.

 

Yesterday at Safeway the checker asked me “how are you doing today?”  I thought about mumbling “fine”–but instead I said, “I’m practicing not worrying”.  She looked at me like I was a bit off, so I said with a smile “Have you ever done that?”  She, did the mumbling, and sort of said “no. But I probably should”.  Next week I get the privilege of teaching on the topic of worry to a bunch of moms.  Wouldn’t you know it–God has me in the middle of some serious things I could really get my worry on about.

I both appreciate and have to laugh at the timing of this pre-scheduled teaching time.  I said yes a few months ago when my life was feeling pretty tame and at peace.  No problem.  I would love to share on this topic.  Then some of life`s unexpected challenges began to arise and I am faced with the challenge do I practice what I am going to preach or not?  Am I going to apply the lessons the Holy Spirit has been showing me, or simply  talk some decent sounding, but empty of life experience platitudes.

I believe God.  I believe God’s Word and I believe His promises. A very close relative of mine has been diagnosed with a very difficult diagnosis. The temptation to worry, at times looms large.  However, because of my prepping for this teaching, I am having more victories that not, thank you Jesus.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it a struggle yes it is.

Our choice during these type of things is to look up or look down.  My devotion for this morning led me to Psalm 121:1-2  I look up to the mountains–does my help come from there?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  We live in an amazing place.  When the skies are clear we can see mountains all around us.  They stand strong and majestic–many snow-covered all year around.  On the way for some lab work yesterday we looked up at the mountains.  The comfort came in the fact we are both trusting the God who made those mountains to help navigate her through this difficult season.  The Lord reminded me a couple of days ago that we need to just take one day at a time.  Her treatment schedule keeps changing so one days plans are swapped for another.  But we are trusting Him to be the God of these changes.

When I am tempted to worry, I put on some worship music and His peace and calm shifts my thoughts to His grace.  We talked yesterday about things we are thankful for.  It was such a blessing we did not have to search our thoughts for a long time–but immediately we came up with several specifics for which we were grateful.  I am saddened that she has to go through this, but it makes me so much more aware of how many others are fighting similar battles.  We choose to trust Him for this day, knowing His grace is sufficient for what we all need for today.  It is my choice to release my faith for her and her family.

I want to remind us today:  Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.  I Peter 5:7