Before I started writing today, I took time to read last week’s blog. What a mess! I knew I was feeling tired, but I thought for sure I had found all the mistakes! This Sunday I came down with a bunch of sinus issues, rendering me wimpy, weak and extremely fatigued. It is not the first time I have endured this nastiness, and I know the drill. Rest, fluids and some decongestants. Nothing fun. So here I am resting. Pushing fluids and I am gaining a bit of ground. But still not up to the energy level I need or want.
Finding the mistakes in last weeks blog Is not only humbling, but embarrassing. How do you process humbling, embarrassing situations? Beat yourself up? Feel bad for a certain amount of hours or even days? Do you wear your shame or are you able to let it go quickly?
As I have been feeling pretty useless in my “resting” state—I realized that I kept a lot of it to myself. I did not ask for prayer from many people, not because I don’t believe in it–but because I was embarrassed to admit, once again I wasn’t feeling well. I realized last night that it is a form of pride. I want to be seen as a strong, healthy capable of moving any mountain that is set before her kind of gal. I can respond with a “yes” to any need because that is how my life usually is. We had a precious new grandbaby on Februarys 17–and I haven’t been able to help her mom or dad nearly as much as I thought I would. My strength to them at this moment is prayer. I have received the news of some very serious situations this week–overwhelming without God’s intervention and I have been able to pray. Our Life Group is studying Philippians and last nights group (which I couldn’t attend) was Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice. To rejoice does not mean we have to “feel” celebratory as you would with a new baby, but it means being so grateful we have our Heavenly Father who walks with us through our hard situations. I can rejoice that God sees me here–learning to rest not only in body, but in mind and spirit. I can rejoice that He understands my heartache for those facing the lost of a loved one who seems to be going home to soon. I can rejoice that He is there with His comfort and helping them navigate new diagnosis such as Parkinson’s that my sister just received. God is good and involved in our embarrassing and humbling moments.–big or small!
For those of you who graciously read last weeks blog with all its mess, I am grateful and sorry. No excuses. I promise to proof read with more scrutiny. I promise I will not wear my shame or embarrassment, but put it under the blood and in the place of another life lesson learned. I thank those you were able to receive through it! Your words of encouragement did that–encouraged me!