Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple. Job 5:2 NLT
I hate rodents. I hate them with a passion. They are sneaky. They show up unexpectedly and where they shouldn’t be. They transmit germs and are just something I will always wonder why God created them in the food chain. But spiritual
“pests” are even worse. One of the most sneaky is resentment.
I don’t like to admit it, but there are times I battle this little rodent thoughts more often than I like. One definition of resentment is a reaction to a specific perceived injustice directed at a person or event. It is part of our emotional makeup. The thing about resentment is it isn’t “bad” in itself. Like the definition says, it is a reaction to a stimulus. We read the story of Cain and his brother Abel in Genesis 4. Cain got resentful to the Lord when Abel’s sacrifice was accepted and his wasn’t. The problem had is the same thing that can happen to us, if we don’t deal with it, it can lead to sin. Cain’s anger and resentment caused him to actually murder his brother. Maybe we don’t actually kill the person that we get resentful towards, but we can do it in our own thoughts. This is where we must learn to recognize those thoughts, and capture them.
Sarai urged her husband to take her handmaid, Hagar to his bed to father “their” child. So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong–you or me!” This whole scenario was faulty from the beginning. Abram didn’t say no to his wife’s idea of him sleeping with Hagar. It was culturally acceptable, but not God’s plan. Often resentment shows up when our own plans go awry. Plans we have not checked in with God about. I’m sure in Sarai’s imagination, Hagar would have the baby and he would have been hers to look after. She didn’t think about Hagar’s part in the story. That she might have emotions and reactions, too. Unmet expectations foster resentment more than we are aware. It was wrong for Hagar to treat her with contempt, but Sarai did not take responsibility for her own part in this story. One of the first steps in dealing with resentment is ownership of our part.
Often if we examine our hearts, we find unprocessed anger that led up to resentment. King Saul was angry and jealous at David’s success. Instead of celebrating his wins as a triumph for Israel, he allowed so much resentment and bitterness to build that he spent roughly 7-15 years chasing David. It became an obsession for him. It looks so silly from our position in history, but it seems like all Saul could think about was destroying David. Resentment is a time waster. We can only imagine what Saul could have completed as King, if he had released his resentment and moved on.
These three biblical examples of the results of harboring resentment are sobering. Job 5:2, is such a good reminder for us all. Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple. I find it humbling to acknowledge when I feel resentment. I think it is the perfection pride part of me! But once I admit it and bring it to the Lord, freedom really does begin. The Holy Spirit begins to show me the proper perspective, whether I want Him to or not! One thing I have learned in dealing with resentment, is not to keep “petting it”. I can’t rehearse it over and over. I must capture those thoughts and keep them captured. Forgiveness usually comes into play not only for the situation, the people involved but also for myself.
If we do not deal with resentments when they are small, they can grow into bitterness. Paul gives great advice in Romans 12: Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. I have found it definitely takes faith to let resentment go. We must trust that our God will deal with things as He sees fit. For the scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the Lord. Instead, if your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.: Romans 12:19-20. He instructs the brethren in Ephesus even more clearly: Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh word, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31. NLT.
Father, thank you for helping us deal with our resentments. Forgive us for not dealing with them when they first show up and allow them room in our hearts and lives. Any resentment we harbor is dangerous to a healthy soul. Once again, we are grateful for your mercy in these areas. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
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