I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Ephesians 3:16 NLT
Two weeks ago, I woke up ill. The kind of ill that makes you want to go to heaven, but you knew you really weren’t sick enough to die, but you sure wanted to! My eyes hurt so bad I couldn’t open them. My nose was running, I was coughing, sneezing and extreme fatigue. So I had to skip writing that day. I took the normal over the counter meds and felt a bit marginally better. Monday as I was rummaging through my kitchen cabinet I came across an expired Covid test, hidden back in the corner. Out of curiosity and concern I took it. Bingo, it very clearly registered I had picked up Covid somewhere.
The knowledge of what it was (my self diagnosis was more sinus issues with chest congestion) actually brought me peace. To be honest with you, I sometimes struggle with the tension of resting in Him, trusting His healing process and thinking I can/should be instantly healed to show forth His power. Condemnation tries to sneak in and say if I really had faith, I wouldn’t/shouldn’t “feel” this way. During this bout, I recognized I needed to rest and trust. A week into it, the next Thursday, my eyes had stopped hurting, the coughing was diminishing somewhat, but I was still very fatigued.
I woke up that morning, thinking I need to write. I had skipped one week and I needed to just push through, with the puny thought I had. Just opening my laptop took an immense amount of energy, but I pressed on. Writing the title and scripture was hard. As I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper–you are digging in the dregs of your energy well, and I haven’t filled you enough. I knew He was right. Not only was my body fatigued–but so was my spirit and soul. I needed a total restoration. I put away my laptop and went and laid down. His peace showed up and I simply rested.
I rested my body and I felt Him helping me rest my spirit, but my soul still struggled some. Gradually most of the physical symptoms faded, except for the fatigue. I felt it lessen everyday, but when I tried to get ready for church on Sunday, I knew I just couldn’t. Gratefully we have online streaming, so I was able to join in. It is not the same, but it kept me connected. Reading this scripture this morning (Ephesians 3:16) that I needed my inner man (my soul) strengthened. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being. Wow, I needed that same prayer. Do you my friends? Are you facing a dry well–emotionally, physically or spiritually? It happens. We pour out, pour out and then we wonder why we are spitting out mud and stones! The stones of impatience, frustration and diminishing joy don’t taste good for ourselves and others!
The Sunday before the Thursday I woke up ill, I was chatting with someone from church. She told me the Lord showed her how tired I was, and said, “it is ok for you to rest”. I knew she was right and those few words of encouragement helped me to allow my soul and body to enter into the rest I really needed. How God cares for us is amazing. I have no condemnation concerning this whole thing. I am just grateful for His love, understanding and teaching me again of His care. I know we all need to learn how to steward our soul, our spirit and our bodies.
Father, what a blessing to know you understand our need to be strengthened in our inner man as well as our outer man. You are such a caring Father. Please teach me and your children how to be aware of our need to rest in you! In Jesus Name, amen.
