Faith and the Weighing of Voices

This past while I have been struggling a bit with my health.  It is nothing really serious, but I admit it has hindered my ability to live my life strong and free as I would like.  The combination of allergies and asthma effects my strength and ability to sleep etc.  I’ve seen my doctor a few times.  The first time I went, I really did not know what was wrong.  She diagnosed me with an extreme asthma flair and announced that my lungs were the worse she had heard all year!  OK, then…now what.  I was desperate to hear her diagnosis, but more importantly, I was desperate to hear her treatment plan and cure!

She said with great confidence, this time next week you will be all better! I can help you.  That was great news, but I wanted to feel better by that afternoon–what was this “in one week” deal all about?  She called in the prescription and I felt like I was stalking the pharmacist wanting him to hurry up and just get me the meds!  I really was that desperate.  I felt awful.  I was short of breath walking from my bedroom to the kitchen and I felt like I was using my rescue inhaler way more often than prescribed.  I was ready to trust her and obey because I was desperate and I believed she could/would help me.

She also told me that the prescription she prescribed might not be enough in the long run.  I might need to come back and get on other meds.  Hmm, OK, well whatever, I just want to feel better.  Sure enough the first dose of meds helped me for awhile, but then I could tell I was back on the slippery slope once again.

So back I went.  The new meds were given with another warning, they may not be all you need, but let’s try them.  She also found a little growth in one of my nostrils and has referred me to an ear, nose and throat doctor, where she said it probably needs to be removed.

Enter  my wisdom.  Hmm, I’ve lived with this for who knows how long.  She, the wise doctor told me that it may be hindering my breathing, trapping allergens which exacerbate my allergies and thus my asthma.  That sounds wise, it sounds true–but would it really make a difference in the long run?  Or should I just continue life as I have been.  The good news is that I haven’t need to use my rescue inhaler for four days, the new meds seem to be working!

As I was thinking about this (the referral people have not yet called, nor have I called them)–I thought who am I trusting?  Whose words do I really believe?  Ouch Lord, sometimes I do the same with you.  When I am desperate and need you to answer or move, I listen intently and follow your voice.  When things are not so desperate and yet you want to bring maybe an uncomfortable change (or perceived uncomfortable change) I begin to weigh whose words I will believe through my own mind.  I sort them out–maybe justifying why I do not need to follow His instructions.  Basically saying I know better than He does.

Reading through scripture, there are times where we find God’s people discussing things with Him for clarity’s sake.  When God wanted to destroy Israel for their disobedience, Moses had a conversation with Him.  When the Holy Spirit sent Ananias to pray for Saul, he also had a conversation.  The main thing to remember, even in our conversations with the Lord is that we always end on obedience.  That the weight of His words in our hearts become more important than our own thoughts.  It involves trust and honor of His position as Lord in our lives.


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