I found a small book last week at our local library that caught my attention.  What if God Wrote Your Bucket List? by Jay Payleitner. The sub-title is 52 things you don’t want to miss.  I debated checking it out. What could it hurt?

The problem is I don”t see myself as a bucket list person.  I am not a dreamer of places to go and things to see and do. I’ve always felt a little odd and uncomfortable around people who are list makers.  I guess my personality is more like a beachcomber–what comes my way I will enjoy!    This books forward was written by Josh McDowell–a man I admire and appreciate, so why not take a chance and see if some repressed adventures lie hidden in my soul? Suppose it causes me to change?

I like this book.  The author states very clearly that trying to think like God thinks on many of these things is silly.  But I do appreciate the fact that just reading this book has opened my vision and understanding of my purpose and intentions on this earth.

My ultimate desire and main heart cry is to fulfill God’s purpose of my life while I am here on earth.  Reading Joshua 18:3 this week I came across this question he asked the seven tribes who had not yet been allotted their land grants.   Then  Joshua asked them, “how long are you going to wait before taking possession of the remaining land the Lord, the God of your ancestors has given you?”   This question caused me to pray, Father I want my inheritance.  However large or small, I want to fulfill your purpose and plan in my life.  I do not want to be distracted, disheartened or denied the opportunity to come to the end of my life feeling I had done less than my best for Him. But reading through this book confirmed to me that we serve a big God and my perspective on inheritance has been to narrow and small. God has called us to live an abundant life, which is rich and full.  This book reminds us that while our call is to serve God and others, He also wants to bless us through His creation, our family and friends.

Reading through Payleinter’s book it really is all about our relationship with our God and His people.  He uses his own experiences to encourage people to strive for the abundant life in every area of their lives to live on purpose with purpose.  In other words with intention. At the end of most chapters he has a little section called “Checking the List”.  In it he gives thought provoking questions or comments that are meant to move us from being a spectator to an active participant in our life.  One of the chapters is called “Get Fired”–it tells his own story of job fails. But in “Checking the List” he writes:

God uses it all.  The good stuff and the bad.  Search your heart, and you may realize that while victories are nice, you learned more and grew closer to God during your most painful losses.  Trophies just sit on a shelf or gather dust.  Scars stay with you and prove you”re a survivor. Treasure your opportunities to be an over comer.

Many years ago Darryl and I drove across the country for what would be our last time.  I asked him if we could specifically alter our route to include Mount Rushmore National Memorial.  It was amazing.  It took extra time and money, but it was so well worth the experience.  Looking back now, it was on my bucket list.  I’ve begun to explore other desires that may be lurking in my soul. The fear of failing to fulfill my bucket list reared its ugly head while reading this book.  Some of the chapters I have actually already done (which always makes you feel good right?)  I must confess now that one of the things I have always wanted to do is visit Washington D.C. and the Smithsonian Institute.  There are actually some plans coming together that just may cause that to happen!

 

 

Last week I as I wrote about Faith and Vulnerable Points, I realized that there were more vulnerable places (I called them choice points) that we face as believers. These are areas where we are challenged to use our faith to move forward or rely on our own strength.

Due to the computer glitch last week I sent out a very poorly edited post, with many typing mistakes.  I apologize for how poor it was written–those of you who sent me encouraging words about how you needed it–thank you!  I felt ashamed and discouraged as I realized how many mistakes there were.  Another vulnerable point discovered– when we make mistakes and disappoint ourselves.

After my son checked my computer and found it to really be a non-issue, I was so embarrassed by what I had published I wanted to just hang my head in shame.  But then I realized I could go back and fix it.  The edit button still worked and, at least for those of you who read on line–it is fixed!  There is mercy embedded in the edit button! I still feel the sting of that embarrassment, but it is my goal to learn from it and make the changes necessary to prevent it from happening again.

Another one of our vulnerable choice points is definitely when we need to apply God’s grace, mercy and receive His forgiveness.  Believing and applying God’s mercy when we feel we don’t deserve it can be difficult.  The double edge sword of pride and shame can prevent  us from simply receiving this gift.  Do not let pride prevent you from receiving this wonderful gift or giving it.

We are vulnerable  when someone has hurt us or fails us in our expectations.  Do we choose to extend mercy and forgiveness or choose to withhold it?  We have the choice to believe God not only sees any painful hurts we endure, but He knows how to work them together in our life for His good plan.

We are vulnerable when we feel our life is in another’s hands.  When we feel our choice points are dependent on someone else’s decision.  It is difficult to release our faith when we struggle to trust others have our best interest at heart.  Jesus words in John 16.  I have told you these things so that you won’t abandon your faith. for you will be expelled from the synagogues and the time is coming when those who kill you will think they are doing a holy service for God.  This is because they have never known the Father or me.  Yes, I’m telling you these things ow, so that when they happen, you will remember my warning.  I didn’t tell you earlier because I was going to be with you for awhile longer.  Brothers and sisters, life isn’t always fair.  Life is not always easy.  But we do not have to do it alone.  We do not have to face our enemy unaware.  Take time to examine your vulnerable points.  Gird yourself with His truth.  Stand strong, and when you have done all, keep on standing.   For we are not fighting against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil.  Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand firm.

I don’t know about you–but I am very well aware of how the battle rages.  So many of my friends, family and even ministries are going through some difficult seasons right now.  My heart hurts for those who have unexpectedly lost loved ones, those who are battling severe sicknesses or struggles with their children, marriages or finances.

I am going to be honest here.  I know there are spiritual battles trying to get us to quit believing in a God that is powerful and answers prayer.  These battles want us to think it doesn’t matter if I live holy and righteously.  But sometimes, I just want to ignore it.  To put my head in the sand and think if I just leave it there long enough, it will go away.  Not true.  Every time I try to choose that option, I realize nothing changes (or else it deteriorates!).  I am vulnerable during my choice to fight.  Will my weariness or my own personal struggles cause me to choose option ostrich?  Or to stand tall in the whole armor of the Lord, girding my loins with His truth?  I can choose to be courageous and go forward.

Another time of vulnerability is when we feel we are alone.  Maybe we don’t sens anyone else has entered the battle.  We stand at the choice point and look for someone else to join,  but maybe the Lord is asking us to take the first stand.  Others may be standing along the sidelines, waiting for a leader to step up, and you are that leader.  Capturing fears of inadequacy, weariness, apathy, discouragement is crucial to move forward in the battle.

Sometimes when we fight, there is a loss.  In my optimistic worldview, I want to believe every battle is a win.  But in truth, though the war is won, we can suffer set backs in battles.  The promise that every thing will work together for good, is so encouraging during these seasons. Stubborn illnesses that seem resistant to the Name of Jesus, prodigal children walking away for years, spouses who abandon marriages can all feel a defeat.  Fighting the “why bother” thoughts is often a very real struggle–another point of vulnerability.  But take heart, this very week I heard of two long term adult prodigals who have returned to the flock!  Their parents endured years of struggle as they watched their offspring being derailed by addictions and poor choices.  They fought feelings of shame, discouragement and hopelessness and persevered.  Keep on believing my friend.  Stand in the gap. Please know your Heavenly Father has wayward children also.  He understands.

Points of vulnerability occur when we feel we have too many battlefronts.  We get overwhelmed and want to quit.  God says, stand and see the salvation of your God.  We may need to retreat and re-group.  Reading through the Apostle Paul’s battles and struggles encourages me to stand.  Taking time to make our God big again through worship, the word and fellowship can make the difference in quitting and moving ahead.  Listen to the Holy Spirit.  He may lead you aside to rest.  Take time to nourish your body.  Take a walk.  Enjoy His creation.  Replenish your soul.  These are important battle tools as well.  Remember Elijah?  (Take time to read his story in 1 Kings 19).

The other day my computer (through Microsoft) shouted at me “Stop! You are vulnerable” And other things–I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do.  I called my son and said “listen to this” what do I do?”  He said.  Shut it off Mom.  I pushed the button and it is sitting and waiting till he has time to come and undo whatever I did.  I am writing this on my Kindle Fire.  I took a bit of a break and my saved draft disappeared.  I have retyped it in by finding my saved draft on my I phone.  I am pushing forward because I really feel I need to publish this today.  Somebody needs this.

Stand strong my friends.  We are victorious in Him.

Do you like parties?  Most parties are instigated to  celebrate something: to acknowledge a significant or happy day or event with a social gathering or enjoyable activity.  Most of us enjoy the invitation to a party (at least we feel wanted!)  This past week I had the privilege of hosting in my home a baby shower for a young couple in our church.  A close friend of theirs asked if I would mind them using my home for this event.  Why not? The Cost: (UM, too tired, too much work, takes time and energy?)

Today I am hosting a birthday party for my granddaughter Elina.  She turns seven today, and for some reason asked if she could have her birthday gathering at my home, rather than hers.  She wants a tea party.  Why not? The Cost:  (UM, too tired, too much work, takes time and energy?)

The cost of celebration is real.  The planning alone takes energy and thought.  Preparation of the place, gathering supplies, setting up and the clean up afterward all is part of the cost.  The risk–suppose no one comes.  Suppose too many people come?  It can become overwhelming, if we let it.  But love, care and God’s purpose can cause our hearts to move from the “cost” to the harvest.  What might be reaped from this expense?

Just hosting a party  is a lot of work.  Because I was only hosting the baby shower–I did not concern myself with the menu or food purchases–it left me with more time to focus on my home preparation (cleaning).  But I also felt a strong need to prepare myself spiritually for the party.  I began to pray for the couple and for their guests.  I felt a shift in my heart that the Lord’s plan for this party was much more than just fellow-shipping and preparations for this new baby, God was up to something.  We did eat, drink and celebrate with good food–but another dimension was added.  As we set ourselves to pray for this couple, the Holy Spirit began to move on several of the guests with words for this couple. The Presence of the Lord came and it was as if all the other parts of the celebration were just structure to support His Purpose.  Everyone who came knew something significant had taken place.  My purpose in sharing this story is to encourage you to not only celebrate the people and milestones in your life, but also do it with prayerful intention.  Ask Him to show up.  Provide an atmosphere and opportunity to touch the lives of your guests with His love and His grace.

My granddaughter has invited some special friends.  Many of them have dietary challenges so their moms have to bring special foods for them.  My daughter said, the kids are so excited because they do not get invited often, because most people think it is  too hard to have them come.  It is a joy to provide this opportunity to host the party for them.  I want their moms and siblings to feel the warmth of the Lord in my home.  We may not do the extensive prayer we did at the baby shower, but touching these young ones with His love, accepting the parents with grace and joy may just lift their load a little bit.

I want to encourage reluctant hosts or celebrants to shift your focus on the “costs” of the party (time, energy and money) to what you may be purchasing.  The opportunity to provide a structure where God’s love can be shared is powerful.  Start small if you need to–invite someone for coffee or tea, focus on them, acknowledge their value to you, it might just change their life or at least plant of seed into their hearts.  Do it in faith, do it with the intention of enjoying yourself and those you connect with–your own heart will be enriched.

What a wonderful gift God has given to us–His Grace.  As a child I would hear messages which included the word  grace  and the definition given would be something like God’s unmerited favor , or God’s love in action towards men who merited the opposite of love. I would hear these definitions, but really not grasp in any practical way, what it meant to me.  Then one day His grace revealed its truth to my heart, not just my head.

One day, many years ago, I was struggling in my walk with the Lord.  I was faithful in my Bible reading, prayer, church attendance (in fact I was the Pastor’s wife!) But I still struggled in accepting God’s love and trying to sort out His expectations of me.  In my dark hours, I would call out to the Lord, asking for His help.

Unexpectedly, His help came in the form of our friend, Pastor Gary Matsdorf’s teaching on grace.  His definition of grace “God doing for you what you could not do for yourself” brought a powerful revelation to me.  During this time, the Holy Spirit revealed to me just how desperate I was for the redemption power of God. I had received Jesus as my Savior as a nine year old.  I knew I was “saved”.  But He revealed that my old sin nature was as dark and deceitful as what/who the greatest sin or sinner had ever done.  Due to my upbringing and personality, I was (in the world’s) eyes, a decent human being.  I knew that I did not meet up to His standard of perfection or holiness, but somehow I think I thought unconsciously, I only needed some of the work on the cross to save me, not all of it.  When He showed me that my sin nature, if  left unchecked I could equal a Jeffery Dahlmer (serial killer) or any thief etc. I was set free.  I did not have to be “good enough” to be adopted into the family.  By accepting  His finished work on the cross I was freed from that struggle.  It was a defining moment in my Christian walk.  I felt free, accepted and loved.  The truth of Romans 8:7, “for the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.” became a reality for me.

This is definitely something we have to receive by faith.  I more fully understand the unmerited  favor now, but I so appreciate Gary’s definition and how the Lord used it to bring freedom into my life, in a way I desperately needed.  At the time, I did not know what I needed.  What a relief, God did.  He brought the answer to me.  He will bring any answer you need, as you call out and wait for Him….it is why we call it a relationship, not a religion!  I am so glad Jesus saves us from ourselves, by His grace.

At the very end of A Christmas Carol, after Scrooge’s great transformation; the narrator says “He knew how to keep Christmas well”.  The question that came to my mind with Easter soon upon us–what would “keep Easter well” look like?

I think for me,  it must be a balance of remembering the LOVE (for me) that took Jesus, God’s Son to the cross.  The Cost of that Cross (my sin) that was spent for me when He endured the pain and suffering on that cross.  Only then can I celebrate the  resurrection power  that freed me from my sin–so I can live in liberty from that sin.  I believe until we take the time to personalize the reality of His love; the Cost; and the Power of the Resurrection that encompasses  the entire story, we will begin to comprehend and experience the enormous joy and blessing of our new life in Him.

It is often difficult for me to read about the crucifixion, especially the nailing part.  To understand the physical, emotional and spiritual pain our Lord endured for us is overwhelming.  I want to jump straight to the empty tomb.  But I am so thankful our Lord did not do that.  He endured the cross, despising the shame for me.  And for that I am so grateful, humbled and in love with Him.  My parents were very firm in celebrating Easter as the day of Resurrection.  We did not do bunnies, baskets etc. (not debating anything here, just telling our story).   We dressed up in  our finest and one of the most consistent memories year after year was the singing Alfred Ackley’s hymn “I serve a Risen Savior” (also known as He Lives).  The entire congregation would joyfully lift their voices in the reality that He lives. This song epitomizes celebrating the resurrection of Jesus for me, not just on Easter Sunday, but everyday of the year.    We do  serve a risen Savior!  May this reality grow more real every day of our lives.  If you have not heard this song–google it!  The thoughts expressed by this hymn, should help us all “keep Easter well” .

I Serve a Risen Savior (He Lives)

I serve a risen Savior, He’s in the world today

I know that He is living, whatever men may say

I see His hand of mercy, I hear His voice of cheer

And just the time I need Him He’s always near

He lives (He lives) He live (He lived), Christ Jesus lives today

He walks with me and talks with me

Along life’s narrow way;

Chorus:  He lives (He lives), He lives (He lives)  Salvation to impart

You ask me how I know He lives?

He lives within my heart

In all the world around me I see His loving care

And though my heart grows weary I never will despair

I know that He is leading through all the stormy blast

The day of His appearing will come at last

Chorus (He Lives)

Rejoice, rejoice O Christian Lift up your voice and sing

Eternal Hallejuhas  to Jesus Christ, the Kind

The hope of all who seek Him, the Help of all who find

None other is so loving, so good and kind

(Chorus)He lives…

Years ago I met a man, I can’t even remember his name.  He was an older African American man, who had been through a lot.  I think he was in his 80’s or so–at least from my 20 something eyes he seemed REALLY  old.  (Who knows, he might have only been my age now!)  He would often share his testimony, and most always end with this phrase, “Just forty years of steady walking, that is what it takes”.    I realize that it has been forty-eight years since I was baptized in the Holy Spirit.  Wow–what a difference it has made in my life.

What a journey it has been.  I am grateful for the gifts of the Spirit and how they help us access the power of the Holy Spirit and help enable us to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh.  Our Life Group touched on Romans 8: 5 and 6 last night.  Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirt think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.  

I admit it is often easier to read this scripture, than it is to apply it especially when we think it is all on us to make it happen.  But it isn’t.  We have the amazing loving Holy Spirit who helps us in our times of weakness.  He comes along side and helps us shift our thinking as we ask Him. Sometimes He speaks to me, quietly, “not good thinking”.  Many times scriptures come to mind and adjustments occur.  At times there is just an awareness that there is a better way.  “What is the most loving thing you could do in this situation?”  Or “are you promoting peace, faith or love here?”  It is amazing what listening and responding to those prompts brings to the situation.  I am still learning how to do this 24/7 in all situations.  I encourage us all, to learn how to walk steady in the Spirit, by the Spirit and life will flow in us and through us touching those around us.

(The picture is my grandson, Jakin.  It was taken about the same age as I was when I became a Christian. I am grateful God knows the paths we all take).

Life often happens in waves.  We had some beautiful spring- like days this week and went to the beach!  No wind made it so peaceful.  The waves were lapping the shore and some of my grandchildren actually took off their shoes, rolled up their pants and waded in.  I have been at this same beach under very different circumstances.  Instead of the peaceful lapping of the waves, they came crashing in so strong that people in wet suits were surfing them!

These past few weeks I admit I have been struggling to gain my footing–my weakness showed up as I kept receiving “difficult and sad/bad news” from many different areas.   I felt the waves crashing over me, almost like I was drowning.  I knew there was a solid rock under my feet.  I knew His love was holding me, caring for me, healing me–some where inside my spirit.  I still trusted Him.  But as I tried to help, encourage, hold steady those with the “difficult, sad/bad news” my eyes became focused on their stories instead of His story.  As I crashed into the waves I drank the salt/bitter water, I got sand in my eyes instead of focusing on Him, instead of feeling His warm robe of righteousness I felt a cold dripping mess.  Thankfully, by His grace and His love I am back on the solid rock–trusting these “difficult, sad/bad stories” have the hope of His intervention. He is washing the sand from my eyes, I am drinking from His well and wearing the robe of righteousness He so graciously provides. The storms of my family and friends are real, difficult and overwhelming at times.  But I am so grateful that He is not overwhelmed by them.  He has a plan.

I also retired this week.  I retired from being Mighty Mouse!  For those of you too young to remember it was a cartoon from 1942 to 1961.  Part of the theme song was “Here I come to save the day!”.  That is not my job.  We have a very qualified, powerful Savior and I am not him.  I was not even aware that I had taken on this role–but thankfully the Holy Spirit let me know!  Spending time praying in the Spirit, worshiping Him and extra time in the Word is bringing me out into a faith full place once again. Humbling to be sure!

Darryl Rodman wrote in His book Heart Treasure:  “When we are weak we need to believe that God will come to us where we are in His strength, and take us to where He is calling us.  We are not to vainly try to climb up out of the weakness we are in, but to invite Him to come where we are in our weakness, so that He can lift us up and out and establish us in His strength by His grace.”  This is why it takes faith to embrace our weakness as an opportunity to actually become stronger in our weaker areas.  When multitudes of “difficult,sad/bad news” comes, I will take the time I need to make sure my footing is on His solid rock. But I do know if I fall into the sea again, He will lift me up, dry me off and still love me.  Thankfully, I do not fall into the sea as much as I used to–or for the same reasons.  Learning and growing is my heart cry.

I am grateful for patient friends and leaders who when I fall into the sea they are also patient, caring and forgiving.  We need each other.

Last week we saw how Moses, God’s man of the hour used open and honest communication when talking to the Lord.  As any leader, he faced joys, sorrows and disappointments with those he led.  Even though the Lord warned him of what his people were doing while he was up on the mountain with God, hearing the people raucously partying while honoring a false idol was too much for him.  His anger caused him to throw down the stone tablets God, himself, had written on.  This leader, in order to preserve God’s reputation argued with God when the Lord wanted to destroy them. Possibly Moses’ discussion with the Lord about not destroying the people was accurate, but at that time more theory and when the reality of the people’s sin, he was overcome.

Loving people in theory is always easy.  Reading instructions in the Bible to feed the hungry, to care for the widows, to take care of the sick is not too difficult.  Reading about how we need to forgive to be forgiven might be a bit more difficult, but in theory it is easy to say yes.

When Moses came down off the mountain he came face to face with the fact his own brother’s character.  Aaron had been his spokesman during the conflict with Pharaoh.  He was his right hand man so to speak.  I am sure they had many conversations about the amazing miracles God did for them.  They shared history.  They shared the triumph of the miracle of the Red Sea.  Let’s speculate that while Moses was up on the mountain, he too had begun to have doubts.  Maybe he began to wonder, suppose something happened to him, and I am going to be the leader?  Perhaps the people voiced his own fears, which is why he quickly collected the gold, oversaw the melting of it and the casting of the mold into the golden calf.  It was Aaron who authorized the celebration of the idol.  (Exodus 32)

We can assume that, when, Moses asked who is on the Lord’s side, Aaron joined Moses.  He probably was part of the Levite team that helped mete out God’s punishment.  We can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Aaron had spoken faith, encouragement to trust the Moses and His God if three thousand people’s lives would have been saved.  Living loved means not forgiving in theory, but in reality.  It is not easy, but the more we know we are loved, the easier it becomes to forgive and love others.

We can learn at least two things from this story.  Our actions matter.  We affect others by our faithful words, or our doubt filled words.  We may be the Aaron for someone who needs to forgive us and our actions, or we may be Moses who continues to lead flawed people.  Probably in our lifetime, we are both.  Let’s keep on living loved and loving the best we can.

 

Like most people, these past few months in my life have had its challenges.  Navigating life, trusting the Lord for myself and others is not always easy or simple.  These life challenges either lead us to Him, or perhaps cause us to take a step or two back wondering if He is the trustworthy  God we want Him to be.  We all experience “bad news”.  This bad news can range from it is going to rain on our picnic, to a loved ones death or serious diagnosis.  How we walk it out depends on our understanding of God and His loving care.  The kind of bad news that shakes our world to its core reveals the status of our trust in His Word and who He is.  I do not have this all figured out–but I do know that He is dependable, trustworthy.  Reading through the book of Exodus, I came to chapter 33.  If you haven’t read that book lately–refresh yourself with its story.

Moses is God’s main man in this part of Israel’s story.  He was somewhat of a reluctant leader, but with the power of God working through him, he led the Israelites out of Egypt toward the Promised Land.  I can only imagine how excited and amazed the first part of the journey was, until the journey became more of a reality and difficulties arose.  We see Moses doing his best to relay God’s plans and direction to these people.  They did not always want to listen–a common problem most leaders encounter from time to time!  Bad news, Moses, the people you are supposed to be leading toward the Lord created an false god and are partying while you have been up on the mountain obeying God’s instruction.  Not a fun day to be Moses.  He was angry, but I do not think it made him happy to watch some of the people be fatally punished.  So how did Moses process this bad day?  He talked with the Lord.  None of us have Moses’s responsibility, but we do have the same access to our God!

I love how the Message Bible describes Moses’ conversation with God.  Exodus 33:12-13 Moses said to God, “Look, you tell me, ‘Lead this people,’ but you don’t let me know whom you’re going to send with me.  You tell me, ‘I know you well and you are special to me.’ If I am so special to oyou, let me in on your plans.  That way, I will continue being special to you.  Don’t forget, this is your people, your responsibility.”

God said, “My presence will go with you.  I’ll see the journey to the end.”  Moses said, “If your presence doesn’t take the lead here, call this trip off right now.  How else will it be known that you’re with me in this, with me and your people?    They continue with this conversation until verse 17. God said to Moses: “All right, Just as you say; this also I will do, for I know you well and you are special to me.  I know you by name.  How amazing is that!  Because He is no respector of persons, He is saying that to each of us.  I know you well.  You are special to me.  I know you by name.  No matter how rough the journey, how difficult your path.  He knows you.  No matter how many weaknesses you are dealing with, He is with you to strengthen you.  As I read those verses, I just sat back and relaxed, refreshed and encouraged by the fact He knows me well.  I can trust Him to take me through the roughest waters or the hottest fires.  Not always in the ways I would like, but the way that will lead to my blessing and the blessing of others.

The next words from Moses were: “Please. Let me see your Glory.”  As we seek to live our lives, not for ourselves, but for Him life gets simpler. God reassurred Moses that He was with him.  He knew him and that motivated Moses even more to want to reflect His love, power and might with others.  Spending time in prayer talking through the hard things with the Lord always brings me closer to Him and with an even greater desire to see His glory revealed.  How about you?